Children velcro Nearly 20% of Quebecers of 25 years and over live in dad-mum. But who should do the FREE1? Michèle explodes. "I had until then", she said, placing his hand six inches above his head. Last year, 27-year-old son, two bins in poche2 and a current master, returned to the bercail4. Once again! "It was his third return, says this mother of Montreal. The scenario is always the same: never question from washing a plate or paying the penny. One morning, I dared to pronounce the word "pension". The next day, it moved at a buddy. He shunned me for three months. Do we really need to host our children until they reach 60 years?" We know all of young adults who live with their parents. Education that extends, scarcity of jobs, studies, the reasons to settle debts are many... "The fridge is full, the car is at the door and the blonde in bed. They are fat hard, diagnostic Michèle. Why would leave?" Nearly 20% of Quebecers of 25 years and more living with dad-mum, genuine Velcro which don't stand more or boomerangs that soar to return. Seven percent are still in 30 years. "Yesterday, their case seemed almost pathological. Today, the company has become to the idea", said Marc Molgat, researcher at the Observatory youth and society of INRS. The company may, but not necessarily the young persons concerned. Almost all of the witnesses requested for this report demanded anonymity. Some have even refused to grant an interview. "Admit that you live with your parents in 30 years, this is not so much winner", was I told. If this trend is the hausse14 for the past 20 years, the number of fathers and mothers the verge of nerves is also. "We receive more calls on this topic, said Marie-France Beaudoin, moderator assistance-parents, in Quebec City. Many parents feel that they have failed in their role as educators. They are discouraged." And financially frustrated. Dear small have never been so well named. Grocery bills salted (especially whether to also feed the lovers and pals), telephone and electricity high marks... Prolonged cohabitation has a price. But who should do the costs? The question makes Marie-Eve, 25 years, Lévis, who ends his bac, works part time, lives with her parents and just paid comptant16 his new car. "My parents chose me. To them of assumer17." Name of the law? Certainly not. Nothing obliges parents to ensure the cottage to their 18-year-old child, explains Dominique Goubau, who teaches family law at Université Laval. "There exists an obligation, but the judges are far from grant it automatically." By setting the majority at 18 years, we have decided, as a society, that a young person is in principle capable of taking main19 at this age there. It is therefore normal that it does so." The right has all the answers. "Some children are their parents. But, for fear of rejection, by love or pity, fathers and mothers are also operate", said Constance root, Coordinator of the House of the family of Quebec. Sylvie Bourassa, budget Advisor Option consommateurs, sees many parents into her snatch for power if offer a few days holiday per year for that their young adult saves for future travel. "Too many young people think that everything is due. Parents should never feel wrongful to require a contribution. Even if it is symbolic quepurement." The miracle equation does not exist, says the Adviser. "If young is a student and works part-time, a sum of $ 100 per month to cover all of the expenses may be reasonable. If he works full time, a sharing of expenses equal or in proportion to the wages of each is possible. I've seen cases where parents and child were "part shelf" in the fridge, as roommates. The range of possibilities is infinite." According to a survey conducted in 1999 among 2,000 adults from 19 to 35 years in the greater Vancouver area, one-third of children 25 years and over who live with their parents pay an average monthly pension of 450 dollars (520 dollars for girls, 425 dollars for the boys!). "In some cases, parents prefer that their child saves to be able to go faster," said Barbara Mitchell, co-author of the survey. Sustain its young longer is also a matter of culture. The current trend closer us to some countries of the South of Europe, where two-thirds of the children still live at home after 25 years. Joanna, whose father is of Greek origin, is a party at age 29. "I ended up needing my space, but my presence was normal for my parents. I had to worry about anything, the invoices were paid and my mother saw at all. It was a little like living even in adolescence. And I was attending. "Difficult, therefore, to pay..." Cleaning, washing, lawn maintenance or errands to run, the tasks are not lacking in a House. Studies or not, money or not, the principle of sharing must remain sacred, contends Valerie Wiener, author of The Nesting Syndrome - Grown Children Living at Home (the 'rest - in nest' syndrome: adult children living at home), published in 1997 by Fairview Press, to the United States, where the situation is also endemic. "It's giving, giving. If parents were not there, children should fend for themselves. They live at home? The least things is that they follow the rules of the House and assume their share of responsibility." Another key element of understanding, according to Valérie Wiener: the moment of departure must absolutely be fixed. "When the tray will be completed or when the first job will be awarded, regardless. The main thing is that everyone knows what to keep. Left to re-evaluate things the time has come. The blur is uncomfortable for everyone." The more refractory youth to any form of sharing are generally those who have never left home, observes Marie-France Beaudoin, of mutual assistance-Parents. "Boomerangs are more aware of the cost of living." At age 23, Michael Lo réatterrissait with his parents in Laval, after a hard breakup. Party teen - he was then 17-, it was adult. "Offer to contribute to the expenses ranged from itself", said the young worker, that is, four years later, return to live in an apartment. It provides so $ 60 per week, pay telephone, cable and Internet subscription. When purchasing an item that will benefit all the household - a toaster, for example-, it subtracts it from his pension. "I had some important legal fees to settle for custody of my daughter, he said. With me, my parents allowed me to get through." Marie-Hélène, a lecturer of 29 years old living in Montreal, also found normal to participate at the expense of the House when she returned with his mother at age 26, after a break: $ 250 per month for rent, more a third of the phone and the grocery store. "I should spend at least as much shared,3évalue-t-elle. Ainsi, j'avais moins l'impression de vivre aux crochets de maman." Quand on lui remet pour la énième fois sous le nez que ses aînés rêvaient de fuir le toit familial, elle ne sourcille même plus. "Hier, le peace and love des enfants pouvait difficilement cohabiter avec les valeurs catholiques des parents. Les temps ont changé. Ma mère et moi vivons de la même façon. On s'entend très bien. Je n'avais aucune raison de partir." Regardons les choses en face, conseille Marc Molgat, de l'INRS. "La relation parents-enfants n'est plus basée sur un rapport d'autorité comme avant. Du coup, les jeunes ressentent moins l'urgence de s'affranchir." Dans les enquêtes, la grande majorité des jeunes adultes justifient par ailleurs leur présence chez leurs parents par des motifs économiques. Les sous n'expliquent cependant pas tout, croit Barbara Mitchell. "La plupart pourraient se débrouiller autrement, en vivant en chambre ou à plusieurs dans un logement, par exemple. Mais ils devraient changer leur style de vie. Pour certains, les pressions de la société de consommation sont plus fortes que la soif d'indépendance." Ils veulent assurer leurs arrières, nuance Marc Molgat. "Quand on regarde le taux de pauvreté chez les jeunes, on ne peut les blâmer." Le chercheur admet néanmoins que certaines statistiques mériteraient d'être examinées: "Deux fois plus de garçons que de filles habitent au domicile familial passé l'âge de 25 ans. Pourquoi?" Soit, les parents subviennent aujourd'hui plus longtemps aux besoins de leurs jeunes. Mais un retour du balancier n'est pas exclu. "L'obligation alimentaire vaut dans les deux sens, rappelle l'avocat Dominique Goubau. On commence à voir de plus en plus de parents âgés exiger le soutien de leurs enfants. "Je t'ai fait vivre, disent-ils. C'est maintenant à ton tour!
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